Step Into The Real World

The travels are almost over, I’ve made it home. Back to the mountains, back to the sea, back to the howling southerly that cuts deep through your bones (I had genuinely forgot that it does that).

I’m still in limbo, somewhat – my move across the ditch is fast arriving and I have managed to distract myself with the joyful thoughts of nesting and working my way through boxes in my mother’s house filled with forgotten 21st and (my brother’s first) wedding gifts that will furnish my new (rented) home quite nicely.

The most exciting thing is not to have all my books and DVDs in one country, but to finally have a single place where I can work. My very own office that doesn’t need to be moved means I can finally have a desktop computer once more, a chair (oh the hours of procrastinating that will be taking up by finding the right chair), a cork board, a bookshelf to keep my growing pile of notebooks …

I’m not going to kid myself and say that by having a settled work area will mean that I will find a routine I’ll stick to. I think I have to abandon the idea that I will be of the Ronald Harwood style of writers who gets up, sits at his desk and writes like it is a normal job. I find myself in the Graham Linehan, Dean Craig camp where you procrastinate forever, realise how long you’ve been procrastinating, panic and then write everything in a flood of words. I will have to come to terms that for me, the magic seems to happen between the hours of 10.30pm and 6am.

Speaking of which … it is warm up time*. Yes, the magic needs warm up time.

* Warm up time: 1. Opening Final Draft. 2. Opening the file 3. Rewriting a line of dialogue from the last time I opened it 4. Staring at the screen for a really long time (about 2 minutes) 5. Checking the clock to see if 20 minutes has passed yet. 6. Repeating steps 4 and 5 for about 20 minutes. 7. Quickly checking facebook as something important needs to be looked up again. 8. Getting distracted on facebook. 9. Returning to document. 10. Remembering that I didn’t actually remember to check that thing I was looking for on facebook. 11. Opening the thing I needed on facebook, reading it, closing the link and going back to facebook where I get distracted again. 12. Thinking “so I don’t lose focus again, I’ll quickly check Twitter and the feed reader” 13. about 2 hours later, I finish with the feed reader, see the clock and panic at the lack of productivity. 14. Put a DVD on to distract myself from distracting myself online. 15. Magic almost begins. 16. Pee. 17. Repeat step 12. 18. See that it’s almost 10pm and realise I have done fuck all and this screenplay is due the next day. 19. Magic begins.


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