Adventures in Dream Chasing

This morning I found myself in an odd situation where I may have sabotaged a potential job opportunity.

(Sonal, what has this got to do with film? Dude, wait. I’m getting there, this is part of the set up. You need to work on your set up. Yes, I know. Shush!)

The role is a rewarding, though challenging marketing/comms/eventy role – something that has helped me earn my crust for years. The person I’d be working with is super nice and it’d be a great opportunity. BUT. I told her that if the role (currently part time) was to move into full time after the project, then I wasn’t interested. I need to focus on filmmaking.

I’m aware how foolish I may sound and there is no doubt that I need a proper working wage right now. But the reason we came back to Australia (aside from my visa expiring – though we have a solution to that too) is to make films. I feel that I can’t let anything get in the way of that. I’ve had great full time jobs, but they always left little time for me to create.

I can’t think of anything worse than no longer being able to write. And I think I’d be a lousy employee anyway if I became that frustrated.

I may come to rue saying this, but I really hope not.

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2 thoughts on “Adventures in Dream Chasing

  1. Hey babe! I totally understand your dilemma. When you want to do something creative, this is the constant tightrope you have to walk – fulfilling career/good money/ feeling bereft and shitty because you’re not fulfilling your creativity vs less money/less career advancement/more stress/feeling artistically fulfilled. It’s something me and Mr Meows talk about all the time. I’ve been feeling bad cos with my current job – full-time and very challenging for me! – I haven’t done any writing (apart from me blog – thank goodness for that!) for over a year. I have just returned to it and hope to enter three competitions soon so I am feeling much better. Yay! 😀

    • Good luck for those competitions! I’ve started heading down the competition route myself, in hope that it will produce more work out of me.

      The big thing in all of this is money, I need it to pay bills but even the secretarial temping agencies aren’t particularly interested in me. To be honest, I’m really very worried. Last week I spent most of it crying because I couldn’t even find a job to apply for – it’s end of financial year here so no one is recruiting.

      At times I rue my decision to leave my last job, but given how frustrating and angry it made me (because I was never allowed to do more than repeat what the last person had done) I don’t think it would’ve helped my mental health either.

      What to do? What to do? *sigh*

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