Second best

Of course, for all of my posturing, I am still very much on the hunt for a day job. I even had an interview at the end of last year and today they called to tell me that I was runner up.

It was a very nice and kind thing to tell me, as was the rest of the very sympathetic and ‘sorry for you’ conversation that followed. Of course it didn’t help, but it was nice none the less.

What the fuck to do? I have eight weeks until a planned trip home, a little more than that in what is left of my savings. If nothing comes about in these next eight weeks then it doesn’t make sense to come back and pay rent when I’m not earning anything.

At the moment, I feel completely useless and unemployable. Outside of the arts, I feel like I have no skills to offer anyone in this over crowded market (my runner up prize comes after being a finalist of 5 from over 150 applications). My few marketing skills are slight without the degree to back it up especially when so many qualified marketers are without jobs, and it’s been over five years since I ran an event (because, you know, recessions tend to kill off those sort of things, but even with that explanation apparently I’m still not good enough in spite of my awards).

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I have no idea what I’m going to do. I feel like I’ve come to an end and it feels horrible.


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